It turns out that my Christmas present to myself this year ended up being the clinical modality that I have been 'birthing' over the past six years while in private practice with my clients. I sat down on Christmas eve and by the end of the day on Christmas it was complete; nothing short of a Christmas miracle for which I am incredibly grateful! It has been a very long, dynamic and organic process. The most challenging part has been distilling all of the central themes that I have stitched together over the years down to their essence within the format of a clinical modality that can be shared in a more structured fashion with larger groups of people. Along with all of my clients, this blog has been a critical part of the process in helping me identify what the central themes and concepts are that assist us all in healing Beyond the Imprint. This is just the beginning and, no doubt, there will be a few 'tweeks' and revisions along the way but I am excited about being able to take this into a teaching/workshop/group experience in 2016 and for many more years to come. Feel free to explore by 'clicking' on the link below and may your journey in this coming year continue to unfold with the gentle ease and loving kindness that nourishes your mind, body, heart and soul.
It turns out that my Christmas present to myself this year ended up being the clinical modality that I have been 'birthing' over the past six years while in private practice with my clients. I sat down on Christmas eve and by the end of the day on Christmas it was complete; nothing short of a Christmas miracle for which I am incredibly grateful! It has been a very long, dynamic and organic process. The most challenging part has been distilling all of the central themes that I have stitched together over the years down to their essence within the format of a clinical modality that can be shared in a more structured fashion with larger groups of people. Along with all of my clients, this blog has been a critical part of the process in helping me identify what the central themes and concepts are that assist us all in healing Beyond the Imprint. This is just the beginning and, no doubt, there will be a few 'tweeks' and revisions along the way but I am excited about being able to take this into a teaching/workshop/group experience in 2016 and for many more years to come. Feel free to explore by 'clicking' on the link below and may your journey in this coming year continue to unfold with the gentle ease and loving kindness that nourishes your mind, body, heart and soul.
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Freud described defense mechanisms as the ego’s (personal identity) unconscious attempt to minimize anxiety in response to conflict occurring between the id (instinctive impulses) and the superego (self-critical conscience) and identified a core group of eight mechanisms: Denial: Refusing to accept real events because they are unpleasant. e.g. Susan won't acknowledge she has substance abuse issues despite not being able to go a day without a drink. Displacement: Transferring inappropriate behaviors into a venue that evokes less distress. e.g. Mark is angry at his boss but does not express it. Instead, he waits until he gets home and vents his anger onto his wife and children. Projection: Attributing what is perceived as unacceptable desires and behaviors to others. e.g. Barbara accuses her husband of cheating on her because she has been cheating on him for years. Rationalization: Creating false excuses for one’s perceived failures or unacceptable behaviors. e.g. George justifies cheating on the exam by identifying that everyone else cheated. Reaction Formation: Perceiving one’s true feelings to be socially unacceptable so acts in opposition to those feelings in what is usually an exaggerated performance. e.g. Kim ‘hero-worships’ her father despite him being physically abusive towards her. Regression: Relying on coping mechanisms from a less mature stage of development. e.g. After 10 year old Sally’s newborn brother came home, she began to suck her thumb. Repression: Suppressing painful memories and thoughts. e.g. Patrick is unable to remember the details of how his father drowned despite being present when it happened. Sublimation: Redirecting socially unacceptable desires into more acceptable channels. e.g. Richard’s anger towards the drunk driver who killed his brother is taken out on his opponents when he plays football. Beyond the construct of id, ego, and superego, I describe defense mechanisms as psychological reflexes that become activated when the individual is ‘triggered’ by a stimulus in the environment that has touched in on an anxiety-provoking memory. The ‘trigger’ occurs as a result of whatever is happening being in resonance with a cellular memory of a moment in time that would have been threatening and overwhelming to the physical and/or emotional body. As a result, the adrenals become activated and the nervous system becomes dysregulated resulting in the defense mechanisms becoming activated in an attempt to minimize the anxiety response. Without realizing it, we have all unconsciously developed an array of well-honed defense mechanisms over the years to help us navigate and cope with uncomfortable and anxiety-provoking situations. The following is my list of defense mechanisms that are present every day in the sessions I facilitate for my clients. They include but are not limited to: Idealizing or Devaluing others through comparison in order to regulate one's own self-esteem Altruism allows for vicariously gratifying experiences which includes fulfilling the needs of others to the detriment of the self. Humor expresses feelings overtly without having to experience personal discomfort. Sarcasm is a common expression of this defense mechanism and is used to distance oneself from one's own anger. Passive aggressive expressions of anger towards others through passivity and turning against the self through failure, procrastination, resentment and martyrdom. Controlling people and events in order to minimize anxiety. Intellectualization focuses primarily on external reality in order to avoid intimacy with self and others through expressions of feelings. What is most important to understand is that when we are expressing through these defense mechanisms we are attempting to get our physical and emotional needs met in an extremely distorted and unhealthy manner that is a direct reflection of our own distorted self-image. This distorted self-image creates an internal conflict which has us in a chronic state of tension. By relying on these unconscious defense mechanisms to deflect what it is we are unable to accept about ourselves and alleviate the anxiety associated with this inner tension; we have only managed to minimize our discomfort until the next uncomfortable situation arises. Consequently, these defense mechanisms continue to inform dysfunctional behavioral and relationship patterns that reinforce our distorted self-image and become the stumbling blocks that prevent us from experiencing the quality of life we truly desire. Therapy can provide an opportunity to increase our awareness around what is preventing us from having our preferred experience by learning what our defense mechanisms are and how to eliminate them. The key to eliminating them is to engage in a process of learning how to love and accept ourselves. In doing so, we integrate those aspects of ourselves that we have rejected; that we hide from others out of fear and shame. By integrating our wounded aspects we heal our distorted self-image and from this place of wholeness and authenticity there is no longer the need to defend ourselves. |
AuthorKate O'Connell is a licensed Child and Family Therapist with a private practice in Charlottesville, Virginia addressing the therapeutic needs of children, adults, adolescents, couples and families. Her extensive training in Intensive In-Home Services, Addiction, Family Systems Therapy and Energy Medicine enables her to facilitate positive outcomes for her clients dealing with a variety of emotional and mental health issues. Archives
October 2016
What is Therapy? Who Benefits From Therapy? Finding a Therapist The Therapeutic Relationship When Therapy Isn't Helpful Compassion Fatigue The Science of Epigenetics Pre and Perinatal Psychology Attachment Theory Trauma Adrenal Fatigue Poverty and Violence The Dualistic Paradigm Only the Shadow Knows Defense Mechanisms Beyond The Imprint The Dance of Relationship What is Healing? Energy Medicine On Forgiveness Grief Schemas What is Normal? Understanding Behaviors Locus of Control Parenting the Child Parenting the Adolescent Substance Abuse Gratitude Patterns What's Next? The DSM, The APA, and Big Pharma |