shaking off the madness
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Modality

On Forgiveness

3/25/2016

0 Comments

 
All of the articles posted on this blog reference core, central themes specific to the thesis/theory that I have stitched together over the years during all of the sessions I have facilitated for my clients. One of those central themes includes the understanding that what is reinforcing the fundamental ‘split’ in our individual and collective psyches is our unconscious participation in the dualistic paradigm that has shaped our schemas and is informing all of our beliefs and perceptions about ourselves and the world we inhabit.

Beliefs stemming from participation in this paradigm include the understanding that we are either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ depending on whether or not we make the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices. Evidence of whether or not we made the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choice is often identified by whether or not those choices caused an ‘injury’ to self or others. We learn this quickly and early on in life because the voices of authority that surround us; our primary caregivers, teachers, ministers, politicians, and the media, are quick to point out when the choices we make are considered either ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. As a result, we learn in the earliest stages of development, through these projections and their subsequent imprinting, how to judge ourselves and others which includes the need to say “I’m sorry” and to ask for forgiveness from 'the other' for our perceived, injurious actions.

These beliefs continue to reinforce the self-judgements that are at the root of all of our dis-ease expressions and subsequent suffering. Much of the focus in the initial sessions I facilitate for my clients is about ‘unlearning’ all of this conditioning in order to begin the healing process of integrating those aspects of the self that are separate from and in opposition to each other as a result of these projections and subsequent, self-imposed judgments.

When we move beyond the dualistic paradigm and its inherent conditioning, there no longer exists the duality of right/wrong, good/bad, or the need for punishment/redemption. Beyond dualism is a very different understanding of what we refer to as forgiveness. To further explore these concepts and help increase our understanding and awareness on this subject; I have transcribed the following article entitled, On Forgiveness. It was written by Yasuhiko Genku Kimura who is a philosopher, cosmologist, Buddhist priest and scholar, and is an author in the fields of philosophy, ethics, science, and business:

“The spiritual action that is forgiving is a transformational movement of human consciousness.  Forgiveness ultimately means to attain to the state of consciousness in which the act of forgiving as such is rendered unnecessary.

When you are unforgiving you are simultaneously playing the victim and the judge. You feel convinced that you are right about your judgement and justified about your victimhood. When you feel convinced that you are righteous and justified, it is well-nigh impossible to give up your position of a victim and judge, for you do not see any compelling reason or feel any impelling desire to give it up.

The only problem is that you are bound to experience suffering. Although you feel self-righteous and self-justified, suffering is inherent in unforgiveness because it contains emotional pollutants such as anger, resentment, and sorrow, which beget unceasing internal friction, conflict, and disharmony.  

When the victim is the righteous judge who decides the verdict, the verdict is a foregone conclusion -- that the perceived perpetrator is guilty and to be condemned.  When you are unforgiving of yourself, you feel victimized by your own victimhood and therefore the real perpetrator exists ultimately elsewhere outside of you and is other than you.

Victim consciousness is the default mode of human consciousness while ego-logical consciousness is the default program.  The human ego thrives on being self-righteous. Hence forgiveness is for many people extremely difficult. They would rather continue to suffer from anger, resentment, or sorrow so long as they can derive an ego-logical pleasure from feeling self-righteous and self-justified.

You have not yet forgiven yourself or others because in your subjective scale the pleasure that you derive from the state of unforgiveness outweighs the suffering that you experience.  In fact, as G.I. Gurdjieff used to say, suffering is the last thing that people are willing to give up, for the human ego subsists on generated internal friction and no human experience generates internal friction more than, and as surely as, suffering.

What does it mean to forgive? To forgive means to give up your self-righteousness for what is truly right. To forgive means to give up your victimhood for self-responsibility and authenticity.  To forgive means to give up your psychological dependency or co-dependency for spiritual independence and sovereignty. To forgive means to give up the negative pleasure of your suffering for the positive joy of living.

Forgiveness requires a transformational shift in attitude. We say that we want to forgive but in truth we don’t want to forgive, for with forgiving we have to give up the presumption as well as the pleasure of moral self-righteousness and existential self-justification – two of the primary pillars that support the evanescent edifice of the human ego.

Therefore, unless you self-generate a will to transcend an ego-logical human existence, you will stay unforgiving for the rest of your life to the degree to which your ego demands for its subsistence.

Forgiveness does not imply condonation or consent. When someone commits an unjust action upon you or loved ones, in forgiving him, you are not condoning or overlooking his responsibility nor are you consenting or acquiescing to his action.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the thoughts and actions of others but only with yourself – your authentic, higher self which is the seat of love and is your inner heaven. Forgiveness arises when you gain the light of insight that so long as you remain unforgiving, you are bound to condemn yourself to the inner hell of your own making.

The spiritual act of forgiveness comes from the state of spiritual independence, sovereignty, and freedom. Forgiveness implies knowing that your authentic self is independent of, and free from, thoughts and actions of others – understanding that your inner well-being is uncontaminated by, and immune from, any kind of negative external influences.

“How can I forgive?” This very question reveals a division, a dichotomy, a distance, between a ‘you’ who wants to forgive and another ‘you’ who does not, and between ‘you’ who is the victim and another human being against whose action ‘you’ are the judge. No resolution, no forgiveness is possible for the ‘you’ who asks this question from the level of consciousness in which this dichotomy exists.

Ultimately to forgive means to hold the whole of humanity within yourself as yourself. Forgiveness means to give light for darkness, to give love for hatred, and to give awareness for ignorance. To forgive means to hold nothing as external and uphold everything as internal to yourself. Therefore, to forgive is to be free."





0 Comments

Energy Medicine

3/5/2016

0 Comments

 
Energy medicine is a branch of alternative medicine that embodies the holistic phenomena that the mind and the body are deeply interconnected. The body’s energy anatomy is as complex and multi-layered as its physical anatomy in which electromagnetic energies form the dynamic infrastructure of the physical body. The health of those energies in terms of flow, balance, and harmony is reflected in the health of the body. Conversely, when the body is not healthy, corresponding disturbances in its energies can be identified and rebalanced. Emerging scientific research and technology reveals how electricity, magnetism, and light affect molecules and cells providing new insights into the efficacy of energy medicine as an alternative approach for bringing all aspects of our being into balance.

Research has identified that at the time a traumatic event is experienced by the individual their nervous system is overwhelmed by the amplitude and enormity of the experience. Unable to effectively process and regulate around the event which is experienced at the deepest levels of survival instincts, the trauma with all of its physical, emotional, and psychological components and implications is essentially ‘flash-frozen’ in time; imprinting the individual on a cellular level in the physical and emotional body. Often, when stressed, the individual will regress emotionally to the age that the event(s) were experienced and the nervous system will become dysregulated around the cellular memory of survival having hung in the balance at that point in time. The anxiety in the present in response to whatever stimulus is in the current environment can be experienced as intensely as it was with the original trauma. Having studied animals in the wild under similar conditions, researchers have identified that the animal’s ability to ‘shake off’ the experience through involuntary physical shaking and movements allows their nervous system to fully process and release the event. It has been observed that animals that are unable to do this will die once they return to their natural surroundings. It is my belief that most, if not all, emotional and mental disorders stem from the individual’s inability at the time of the original trauma to allow the nervous system to fully process the event. In the present, energy medicine, bodywork and movement helps support and facilitate the nervous system’s ability to process and release old traumatic cellular imprinting, allowing for a more regulated response when stressful stimulus presents itself in current environments and situations.

Therapeutic modalities such as Fluid Dynamic Cranial Sacral Therapy and Rolfing have identified these cellular imprints as ‘inertia fulcrums’ that exist in the fascia interrupting the flow of ‘qui’ or ‘chi’ (chee) and often manifesting as a variety of physical symptoms and pain presentations leading to chronic dis-ease. The nature of these symptoms from one individual to the next is determined by a person’s genetic pre-dispositions and vulnerabilities as well as unconscious beliefs created about the self through environmental imprinting during the formative years of childhood development. Accessing these modalities helps release the inertia fulcrums specific to the individual’s experiences resulting in greater ease and flexibility of emotional, mental, and physical expression.

Massage Therapy is an important healing modality because it is important to be touched. Over time, years of emotional, physical, and psychological imprinting from unsafe events, relationships, and environments will create the perception that it is unsafe to be in a body. Most people are unaware of how much time or to what degree they have dissociated from the body. This is an unconscious attempt by the individual to avoid feeling the pain associated with traumatic or stressful events. For those who experienced chronic stress throughout childhood made up of a stream of events that seemed to lack a definitive beginning and an end, learning how not to occupy the body was unconsciously developed as a means of survival. Psychotherapy should include helping the individual to ground in the physical realm more fully despite the emotional and physical pain that might initially be experienced. Massage Therapy can be a gentle and effective way to support this part of the healing process. For individuals with a history of physical and sexual abuse it is particularly helpful in assisting the individual to move through deeply held shame and guilt imprints relating to all matters of physical pleasure and pain.

Neuro Kinetic Therapy is a sophisticated form of manual therapy that combines motor control theory and manual muscle testing. The science of motor control theory states that the motor control center in the cerebellum stores all the coordination patterns of the body. It is directed by the limbic system and the cerebral cortex to not only create movement patterns (such as when a baby learns to stand), but also to create substitute movement patterns when we are injured. When a muscle is inhibited for whatever reason, the motor control center will find a substitute muscle to perform the function. If this pattern is allowed to remain in the motor control center, dysfunction and pain will follow. By applying light pressure that the client then resists, the practitioner can evaluate the strength or weakness of each muscle, revealing the sources of injury and retraining the client’s body to remove the compensatory patterns; reprogramming the body at the neural level. Neuro Kinetic Therapy is an excellent modality in rehabilitation and manual therapy because it not only identifies the cause of pain and dysfunction, but also corrects it very quickly and painlessly.

Meditation and Prayer through guided visualization, deep breathing, and focused intention include health benefits such as lowered blood pressure, stimulation of the body's immune system, stress release, and enhanced emotional well-being including increased self-esteem, relaxation, and optimism.

Homeopathy is an alternative medical system that was developed in Germany more than 200 years ago using natural substances from plants, minerals and animals.  It is a safe, gentle, and natural system of healing that works with the body to relieve symptoms, restore itself, and improve overall health. It is based on two rules of nature called the Law of Similars and The Law of Minimum Dose. The Law of Similars states that “like cures like," or that a medicine can cure a sick person if it can cause a similar sickness in a healthy person. The Law of Minimum Dose states that the lower the dose of the medication, the greater its effectiveness.  The homeopath regards symptoms as the body’s healthy attempt to restore itself to balance. That is why a homeopath will choose a remedy that supports the symptoms rather than a remedy that opposes them or suppresses them as in conventional medicine. With the correct homeopathic remedy there are no side effects and a person is restored to health naturally.

Acupuncture is an ancient form of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) for balancing the flow of energy or life force known as qi or chi (chee) which flows through pathways (meridians) in your body. The acupuncturist identifies blockages to the energy flow and opens up the pathways to increase circulation. This is done by inserting small needles into the skin at specific energy points along the meridians.

Floatation Therapy or Restricted Environmental Stimulation Therapy (REST) uses floatation tanks which are filled with a salt/water mixture warmed to ambient body temperature. The salinity of the water enables an effortless suspension, resulting in sensations of hovering in a gravity-free environment. This magnesium-rich water gets into the body’s musculature system through transdermal infusion which releases tension by allowing the body to drain itself of lactic acid and cortisol. As the body relaxes, the floater’s nervous system and mind relax as well. After thirty minutes of relaxation, the floater’s brain realizes that there is no sensory input for it to process, and becomes quiet and still. The serenity and peace achieved through floating is the same sensation that meditators often have after training for months. Floatation therapy has been studied in great length by the academic and scientific communities. To date, there have been over 250 studies done that support the effectiveness of the floatation tank’s ability to induce deep relaxation. Studies have shown that floating in mineral-infused warm salt water, free from the stimulations of sensory input, decreases the floater’s production of the cortisol while increasing endorphins. Floating offers a peaceful and protected environment that supports the restitution of your body and mind’s innate healing powers.

Reiki is a Japanese practice that trains practitioners to access universal healing energy. This ancient modality is passed on from teacher to student and is an easily accessible form of energy healing to people of all walks of life. In the early 1980s, Dolores Krieger, R.N., created an American version called Therapeutic Touch.  She introduced this concept of healing energy to thousands of nurses.

Qigong is an ancient Chinese health care system that integrates physical postures, breathing techniques and focused intention. The word Qigong (Chee Gung) is made up of two Chinese words. Qi (chee) is translated to mean the life force or vital-energy that flows through all things in the universe.  Gong (gung) means skill that is cultivated through steady practice. Together, Qigong (Chee Gung) means cultivating energy. It is a system practiced for health maintenance, healing and increasing vitality. Practices vary from the soft internal styles such as Tai Chi; to the external, vigorous styles such as Kung Fu. However, the slow gentle movements of most Qigong forms can be easily adapted by all age groups, including the physically challenged.

Flower Essences are an extremely subtle and effective form of energy medicine based on homeopathic principles which helps the individual ‘peel’ through the layers of imprinting, patterns, and belief systems created by chronic stress and trauma that are no longer useful for continuing development. Blends for my clients are custom made on an ongoing basis in order best meet their needs at any given time in their healing process as they continue to ‘peel’ away the layers.

Below is a series of comments from a few of my clients describing their experiences following their first blend of Desert Flower Essences:

"Mental preoccupation is fleeting compared to its dominance even a year ago. It has only been since I began taking the essences that I am no longer head-centric but have found how to center myself in my heart and when mindful I put myself there. As an indicator of recent change, I have a colleague at work describe me as the guy who doesn't let things bother him and he sees me leading the way to a more relaxed atmosphere in the office."  – Matt-

"I've been waking up easier, without dreading my day. I managed to leave my awful job where I've been for two years now. I haven't felt as angry, and I've been getting along with my dad a bit better because I've been finding it easier to stay calm. My dreams have been a bit more positive and I've had fewer nightmares."  
– Madison-

"As I drove the kids to school it was a very surreal experience. At times if felt like the equivalent of a computer virus as these drops seem to have been given a backdoor path to my emotional core and were rattling my inner emotional self. There was a voice that was telling you "f-you" for having gotten past the defenses."   
–Brad-

"Although I am very confident using alternative methods and medicines for mental, physical and spiritual health, I was skeptical of the effectiveness of flower essences.  However, after the first day of use, I noticed a profound change in how my mind was working.  What is usually a constant state of chatter slowed to stillness and I found myself better able to focus on things that matter, a significant decrease in anxiety and a dramatic change in the way I perceive time.  When the blend was revealed to me at the end of the bottle's use, it was obvious that the changes I experienced were a direct result of taking the essence."  - Mary -

"This blend has helped me become much more stable and confident. I'm more honest with myself and others and I'm trying to incorporate into my life what I believe is healthy for me. I've noticed less of a tolerance for those who prefer to find bad qualities in others and fixate on them.  I feel open and much more willing to be vulnerable. I have become clearer about what exactly I want to do. For the most part I feel much more settled and comfortable with who I am and who I'm becoming."  
–Shay-

During the past 30 years I have relied exclusively on Energy Medicine for my healthcare needs utilizing all of the modalities listed above at one time or another. This is a preventative model of healthcare that excludes the need for any pharmaceutical interventions relying primarily on diet, exercise, and natural supplementation to keep the three aspects of my being - body, mind, and spirit – more fully integrated. As a result, my mental, emotional, and physical well-being continues to improve every year allowing me to experience greater harmony, stability, and enjoyment within a more gentle, loving, and balanced lifestyle.
 

0 Comments

    Author

    Kate O'Connell is a licensed Child and Family Therapist with a private practice in Charlottesville, Virginia addressing the therapeutic needs of children, adults, adolescents, couples and families. Her extensive training in Intensive In-Home Services,  Addiction, Family Systems Therapy and Energy Medicine enables her to facilitate positive outcomes for her clients dealing with a variety of emotional and mental health issues.

    



    

    Archives

    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015


    What is Therapy?
    Who Benefits From Therapy?
    Finding a Therapist
    The Therapeutic Relationship
    When Therapy Isn't Helpful
    Compassion Fatigue
    The Science of Epigenetics
    Pre and Perinatal Psychology
    Attachment Theory
    Trauma
    Adrenal Fatigue
    Poverty and Violence
    The Dualistic Paradigm
    Only the Shadow Knows
    Defense Mechanisms
    Beyond The Imprint
    The Dance of Relationship

    What is Healing?
    Energy Medicine
    On Forgiveness
    Grief
    Schemas
    What is Normal?
    Understanding Behaviors
    Locus of Control
    Parenting the Child
    Parenting the Adolescent
    Substance Abuse
    Gratitude
    Patterns


    RSS Feed


    What's Next?

    The DSM, The APA, and Big Pharma



    
    


    
Copyright 2015 Kate O'Connell, LPC